THE JOURNEY

Been long since I last updated this page.   I thought I was in full control of myself.  I thought everything was going well.  Well,  life doesn't work that way.  If everything comes so easy, it wouldn't be called life.

So, uh, where do I start?

How have I been? If it even matters.

Oh, well, I believe it has been a very meaningful journey ever since. My life was a journey full of failures, heartbreaks, disappointments and sorrow.  But that's just the other side of it.  Or should I say, that's just a tiny side of everything in my life.  It's nothing compared to all the things that is worth celebrating.

All in all.  Life has been kind to me.  Too kind to even bother complaining.  The blessings that came is far too big than all the gray areas of my life.  As I have always told myself several times before, no regrets, just lessons learned and memories to spare.  

Looking back at the past, who I was before, where I started, and looking at who I have become and where I am standing today, I must say I must give credit to the one who made all these possible -- My Good Lord.  He never left me.  He never gave up on me.  He never lost sight of me.  Yes, He made me walk my own way through the paths I chose for myself. But, He was just there ready to catch me when I fall, ready to smile back at me and say "You did your best!" or "I told you so" or "Come, my dear, find rest in me".  I felt Him embrace me with arms open wide at times of trouble and insecurity.  No questions asked. Just pure love and understanding.

I know I haven't been the ideal daughter or servant to God.  But I never felt Him leave my side.  Never.  That was the reason why although I feared much but I overcame sleeping alone in the dark, walking in unfamiliar places and dark streets,  talking to strangers,  riding public transports,  not having a single penny, not being able to eat three times a day, and ei, not to mention, jumping off  a cliff! These used to be my greatest fears.  I conquered all of them (well, except touching reptiles).  But, I overcame all of these because I was so reliant to my God that never was a single moment that I thought that I will be left hopeless and without aide.  In each of the challenges I met, there was always a hidden treasure within it.  And I always knew that even before I realized it.

I have to admit that I am not in my best shape right at this moment.  I have failed, I have made mistakes, too many times already, over and over again. And I don't blame anybody. I know that in the future, I still will fail, still will make mistakes,  I still will stumble down and fall.  But I am confident that I am stronger than before and that I know better.  Soon I will get back up,  pick up the pieces, and face another journey.  I may not know yet the reason behind this struggle.  I may not see yet the hidden treasure.  But soon I know I will understand.  I know that I am a part of His perfect plan for this world.

I have full TRUST in my GOD -- that all is well and all will always be well. In the right time, in HIS perfect time.