A Beautiful Mess

The love that is in my mind could not be the love that truly exists.

Then I look around.

I see men treating their women right.
I see old couples holding hands.
I see how lovebirds connect and rely on each other.

I hear songs of love.  There could be a reason why they came up with such melody and words somehow.

These things somehow tell me, "Yes, there could be hope!" Well, not for me, maybe.  But for this world? Definitely, maybe.

Listen to Your Heart

You can never imagine how a film can bring you to your innermost thoughts, stimulate emotions you never thought you had and bring you to that certain moment, certain place, and certain time that is all new to you.

Here are few quotable quotes from this movie:

"Look man, I'm not gonna miss out on something that could be great just cause it might also be hard."

" Music's a powerful thing. A song can change your mood. Make a memory. One song can change your whole life."

Not everybody who has been truly in love can say that they are with the love of their lives.  So we must cherish every moment with that person and hang on to that certain moment.

THE JOURNEY

Been long since I last updated this page.   I thought I was in full control of myself.  I thought everything was going well.  Well,  life doesn't work that way.  If everything comes so easy, it wouldn't be called life.

So, uh, where do I start?

How have I been? If it even matters.

Oh, well, I believe it has been a very meaningful journey ever since. My life was a journey full of failures, heartbreaks, disappointments and sorrow.  But that's just the other side of it.  Or should I say, that's just a tiny side of everything in my life.  It's nothing compared to all the things that is worth celebrating.

All in all.  Life has been kind to me.  Too kind to even bother complaining.  The blessings that came is far too big than all the gray areas of my life.  As I have always told myself several times before, no regrets, just lessons learned and memories to spare.  

Looking back at the past, who I was before, where I started, and looking at who I have become and where I am standing today, I must say I must give credit to the one who made all these possible -- My Good Lord.  He never left me.  He never gave up on me.  He never lost sight of me.  Yes, He made me walk my own way through the paths I chose for myself. But, He was just there ready to catch me when I fall, ready to smile back at me and say "You did your best!" or "I told you so" or "Come, my dear, find rest in me".  I felt Him embrace me with arms open wide at times of trouble and insecurity.  No questions asked. Just pure love and understanding.

I know I haven't been the ideal daughter or servant to God.  But I never felt Him leave my side.  Never.  That was the reason why although I feared much but I overcame sleeping alone in the dark, walking in unfamiliar places and dark streets,  talking to strangers,  riding public transports,  not having a single penny, not being able to eat three times a day, and ei, not to mention, jumping off  a cliff! These used to be my greatest fears.  I conquered all of them (well, except touching reptiles).  But, I overcame all of these because I was so reliant to my God that never was a single moment that I thought that I will be left hopeless and without aide.  In each of the challenges I met, there was always a hidden treasure within it.  And I always knew that even before I realized it.

I have to admit that I am not in my best shape right at this moment.  I have failed, I have made mistakes, too many times already, over and over again. And I don't blame anybody. I know that in the future, I still will fail, still will make mistakes,  I still will stumble down and fall.  But I am confident that I am stronger than before and that I know better.  Soon I will get back up,  pick up the pieces, and face another journey.  I may not know yet the reason behind this struggle.  I may not see yet the hidden treasure.  But soon I know I will understand.  I know that I am a part of His perfect plan for this world.

I have full TRUST in my GOD -- that all is well and all will always be well. In the right time, in HIS perfect time.

CAN

this video really sends me extreme emotions of happiness, guilt and hope (all at once). before, i never really knew the essence of my existence and the reason why i must go on. i kept complaining and asking for something more.

this video is a story of a father and son. who, despite of all the constraints and obstacles they have in order to live a life that others might say as normal, obviously managed to have a positive approach in dealing with their circumstances.

i have been moved, shaken, and even pinched by this film. it gave a lot of realizations in my life. that whatever circumstances i may have in my life right now, it actually isn't a problem or a burden at all. in fact, it is a privilege to prove myself and release the inner strength that i truly have inside of me ever before i was born.

i began to reflect on my relationships. first, was with my relationship with my Father in Heaven. then, my relationship with my kids, my family and those people i claim that i care for and i love.

the father in this film, is just an ordinary man, with ordinary skills and emotions. but he made it. he has proven his love to his son through his sacrifices. and so i asked, there's no reason that I CAN'T. what more does, my Father in Heaven, who's so powerful and has the greatest love of all.

this film gave me hope. that i know I CAN truly, wholeheartedly, without any doubt claim and believe that my Father in Heaven will not leave me and always guide me along my journey. He is the one driving my life, carrying me in times of trouble, and keeping me right in track. no matter how long, how narrow or steep the road is, everything will just come out fine and we will surely reach the finish line. all i have to do is put my Trust in Him and remain strong in love and Faith.

i know i am like the son, who cannot move on my own, who must always depend on my father. because my victory also depends in Him and my faith in Him. all i want to do now is go back to His feet, and claim that i have wronged Him, that i forgot how He loves me and thought i could make it on my own.

Lord, now i claim. i am Your daughter. i need You. I place all my Trust in You. I let You take over Lord. and with my Faith, i know...

I CAN.

Ice is Turning One

another miracle has come our way.

ice is turning one this april 9, 2009. it falls on a maundy thursday. so we are planning on a more discreet celebration with respect to the lenten season. but still it is such a great blessing that ice has finally reached 1 year old. anyways, in the Bible, the Last Supper was on a thursday and it was supposed to be the time for the "Passover" where the jews would have a feast in their tables in celebration to the time when the Lord saved the Israelites from the slavery of Egypt. the first year of a child definitely is not easy --considering the adjustment, teething, walking developments of a child. it definitely is a big reason to celebrate.

for the dinner menu. we are planning to serve mostly seafoods, like shrimp, crabs and squid. there is gonna be seafood pancit, soup, breaded chicken, fish sweet n sour, and chao pat chin. i have my officemate as chef assigned for that time (thanks, ate bebie!). most of my other officemates say that she really cooks well. well, we'll see. lols. but i actually already had the pleasure of indulging into her dishes in the office, and they made everyone happy. so it's gonna be a great dinner i am pretty sure. but my husband plans on serving the legendary "Lechon" (Roast Pig) for that day. i mean why not, right? as a form of sacrifice. for dessert, i plan on making ube jam, leche flan, buko pandan, fruit salad and birthday cake (of course).

i may also set a simple kid's party in the afternoon. to entertain ice. she likes to see lots of other kids around her. causing her to be restless at times. wanting to follow the other kids around (and the watcher hold and follow her, lols). but it's ok, it's her birhtday!

this is definitely a great time to give thanks so the Lord for the wonderful blessing of life and health to ice and the whole family. and a perfect time to share this happiness to loved ones.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ICE!!!

Daddy, Mommy and Ate Rain loves u soooo much!

we all love you!

Ice Finally Had Teeth

In the morning of March 23, 2009, few days before her first birthday, i noticed that ice's upper gums are turning into white. i couldn't say if it was teeth that time coz it could also be just traces of milk she drank. but when i went home in the evening, her teeth appeared. there were three of them. but the other one is still not very clear.

i know that this development is quite late than the other kids. but i always say what is the rush. i think that it's better this way on her latter months so that she won't have a hard time dealing with teething symptoms and all. we all know how hard teething could be for a child at times.

Smilestones

i really admire the tv ad featuring Kris Aquino and her son with James Yap, baby James. this is about getting a motherly smile from witnessing the milestones of your baby. i really can relate to this, especially as i watch my second daughter, ice, learn lots of new things at ten months.

now, she can respond if we tell her to clap hands, say "bye-bye" and when she hears music she moves her hands with the sound as if dancing into the tune. she also is developing her motor skills as she is now very active in moving around crawling. she can now also walk her way as we put her in a walker or hold and guide her ourselves. i can say that ice is a happy baby because she really smiles and laughs back if we try to tease her. she can also follow few syllables that we speak like, papa (her first word), mama, tata (for ate) and several others. i am also very contented to say that she is not hard to feed. she eats well as compared to her ate rain who is a picky-moody eater.

as i am writing all these, i can say to you that i am carrying a very sweet smile. being a mother, is really tough and challenging. but it's the only thing that makes me feel complete and i've never been happy & contented my whole life. my two daughters give me so much joy like never before. and i know i will always have a smile as long as i watch my kids grow and take their milestones. that's why it's called...

smilestones.

step-by-step

ice, at eight months, is now learning to walk by the help of the walker. when we put her down she'd look very excited and she'd start to "walk" her way around our living room. but at times when we just lay her down the mat, she'd roll all over it, and make way crawling around even beyond the borders of the mat. it's really heart-warming to see your child learn new things and take her milestones. though, right at this moment she and rain are having cough for almost a week now. there were nights when we can not sleep right because both of them were coughing profusely, alternately and sometimes both at once. truly, the hardest part of being a parent, a mother specifically, is carrying the burden of seeing your children getting sick. i can feel their pain a thousand folds.

Finally Found My Place

Hello, guys! Haven't really updated my page for awhile now.

I am now working as an Accounting Processor in Philippine Ports Aurhority -PMO Tagbilaran. I started on October 20, 2008. Had a call from the Finance OIC Ma'am Felda the night of October 19, 2008 telling me that I had to start the following day. I can still remember how happy i was..

The Pursuit of Happyness

Starring Will Smith, Thandie Newton and Jaden Smith

In The Pursuit of Happyness, Chris Gardner (Will Smith) is a family man struggling to make ends meet. Despite his valiant attempts to help keep the family afloat, the mother (Thandie Newton) of his five-year-old son Christopher (Jaden Christopher Syre Smith) is buckling under the constant strain of financial pressure. No longer able to cope, she reluctantly decides to leave.

Chris, now a single father, continues to doggedly pursue a better-paying job using every sales skill he knows. He lands an internship at a prestigious stock brokerage firm, and although there is no salary, he accepts, hopeful he will end the program with a job and a promising future. Without a financial cushion, Chris and his son are soon evicted from their apartment and forced to sleep in shelters, bus stations, bathrooms or wherever they can find refuge for the night.

Despite his troubles, Chris continues to honor his commitment as a loving and caring father, using the affection and trust his son has placed in him as an impetus to overcome the obstacles he faces.


Columbia Pictures presents in association with Relativity Media an Overbrook Entertainment/Escape Artists Production The Pursuit of Happyness starring Will Smith, Thandie Newton and introducing Jaden Christopher Syre Smith. The film is directed by Gabriele Muccino and written by Steven Conrad. The producers are Todd Black, Jason Blumenthal, Steve Tisch, James Lassiter and Will Smith. The executive producers are Louis D'Esposito, Mark Clayman, David Alper and Teddy Zee. The director of photography is Phedon Papamichael ASC. The production designer is J. Michael Riva. The film editor is Hughes Winborne, A.C.E. The costume designer is Sharen Davis. The music is by Andrea Guerra.

The Pursuit of Happyness has been rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America for Some Language.

The Pursuit of Happyness was released by Columbia Pictures on December 15, 2006.


Official Movie Site: www.sonypictures.com/movies/thepursuitofhappyness/


for the nth time, i watched the movie of will smith with his son jaden. and for the gazillionth time, i cried. i think this movie is the saddest and happiest movie (at the same time) i've seen so far. when it's will smith, it's gotta be good. with a big PLUS: JADEN SMITH

this movie really touched me. knowing the hardships of a parent, i truly can relate to the story of this father & son. i wish i also have cris' (will smith's character) perseverance and patience. and i wish my kids will be as understanding and loving as cristopher (jaden). it really shows how great a father's love is for his son. i'll never regret watching this movie and i will still watch it over and over. it's a must-see for all parents. and to think, it is based on a true story.